And after all, she told herself, she was only flesh and blood -- female at that -- and could not be expected to suffer physical agony to keep a secret...that might have meaning only to herself.Yet, it had been her own voluntary blurting out of the first treacherous and prideful words that had started it. If she was so quick to betray their treasured relationship out of pride how could she blame it on the fear of pain?No -- she could never quite regain the entire person that had been Palmyra. 'What would you like?' I enquired. 'I'll tell you next week.' she said.Why did I want our next meet to consist of me as my male self? Well, to be honest, her lingerie and her immaculate make-up made me feel rather amateurish in comparison. Besides, I think I was genuinely attracted to her. Not the rather pleasant looking gent who would turn up in the morning, but the gorgeous creature who would sashay down the stairs half an hour later. But that was fantasy. He was probably married. Maybe had. And that made me even more nervous – and embarrassed – and angry.“Hey!” whispered Dan. “You did it. I’m so proud of you.”My eyes popped open. I guess that means they were closed before that.Those simple words sent a surge of pride through me. I really did it. And he was proud of me. I looked at Dan and gave him a grateful smile. Then I remembered that I was cross with him and I frowned.“Don’t touch me,” I hissed through teeth locked together.“Would it help if you held my hand?” asked Dan. It. ” She looked to me as she added, “Look mommy I got another bear.”I stood there looking at my mother, as she smelled her flowers a lovely smile on her face as she did. I watched Sherri hugging her bear and smiling up at John. I looked to John waiting for my gift.John turned to me as he said, “As for you,” “You get the use of my skillful hands,” showing me his hands.“Now that is something you better not pass up,” mom yelled with a laugh.“MOM,” I yelled back.The three of us had a laugh, as I did.
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